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Exploring the Kingdom of Mystery

Makoto {voiceover}: Hello my name is Makoto Mizuhara. A normal high school student from Shiniobi High.

Tom: It's normal to get straight A's?

Makoto: I was working on a special science project when something something went horribly wrong. I've suddenly been transported to a mysterious world called El Hazard. What is going to happen to me in such an unpredictable place?

Joel: You tell us!

Makoto: My God! What are these horrible things?
{Bugrom grumble woman screams}

Joel {As Bugrom}: Who you call horrible, little pink skin?
Crow: Let's step on him.

Makoto: Is it Nunami?
{Bugrom grumble}
{Venus chased by bugrom}

Joel: Man, how can she run in that getup?

Venus: God help me.

Tom {in deep voice}: This is God. Will he do?

{Makoto makes spectacular catch}

Joel and Crow {improv cheers}
Tom: Nosebleed time!


Venus: I'm very very sorry. Are you all right young squire?
Makoto: Yeah, I'm OK.
{Bugrom approach}
We aren't safe for long. What do you plan to do?
Well off the top of my head--RUNNNNNNNN{Makoto and Venus take off}

Crow: Come on, you'll be my date!

Makoto: What in the world are those crazy things?
Venus: They are Bugrom of course. I had no idea they had invaded in this far in.
Makoto: Bugrom? What are Bugrom? What is it? What's wrong?
Venus: I stepped on something awful.
Fujisawa: Eugh, what time is it? That new sake really hits you in the stomach.
Makoto: It's my sensei.

Crow {as Venus}: See? Something awful!

Fujisawa: Oh Makoto. You still here? {Yawn} I thought you went home {spots Bugrom and walks over}

Joel: Oogga Booga!

Fujisawa: Oh that's pretty good. You must be from the horror fan club. Nope, can't see a zipper anywhere. It's OK, but you should be studying. You maniacs waste too much time.
Makoto: Sensei, he's not a student.
Fujisawa: Come on which student are you? {Bugrom hits Fujisawa}

Crow {as Bugrom}: Your breath stink.

Makoto: No! Sensei!
Fujisawa: Idiot kid! How dare you hit a teacher like that. Take off that suit child, cause you are now expelled!
Makoto: But he's not a student, he's real!
Fujisawa: Student of this school or not, he's in trouble! Come on take it off! Take off this head.

Joel {as Bugrom}: Hey that my head! Let see how you like it!

Fujisawa: Woah! {Big fight with Bugrom}

All: {Improv battle cries of Bugrom}

Fujis: Stop it! Sit down and be quiet! You dang kids are all expelled. Ugh, I got a headache. Maybe a sip will cure it. Let's see! {Sees bottle has broken.} What? Nooo! It's my favorite brand!

Tom: Cough Syrup?

Fuji: {Hits bugrom on head with bottle.} You're expelled form college too.
Makoto: Mr.Fujisawa are you OK?
Fuji: Huh? {Pause} That looks real. Did the school pay for that?
Makoto: I've been trying to tell you, they're all real! Something happened. She's just as real as the monsters.
Fuji: Monsters? Hmmmmm? {Feels Bugrom leg, then his own.}

Tom: Arughh!! My leg!!

Fugisawa: Hmmmmmm?

Crow: 3-2-1 Realization. Huston we have realization. Realty's checkin in.

Londs: Your Magisty! Princess are you all right?
Venus: Oh it's Londs. oh Praise Heaven he's come.

Joel: Hey, what about us?

Londs: I had no idea you had wandered so far. Please forgive me? {notices Makoto and Fugisawa} You must be great warriors from beyond. You deserve royal honor.
Fuji: I do teach to help those in need. Right?
Makoto: Yeah, you do.
Londs: Escort the royal guests to the ship.

Joel {at shot of trees}: Nice shot

{ship takes off}

Tom: That's a ship?
Crow: Who cares as long as it flies.
Joel: Oh a Transformers reference. Very good guys.

Makoto: We're in El Hazard?
Londs: Thou hast come afar. Our empire encompasses all the land that any the living had ever known. It has been known as the anceint holy land of El Hazard from far beyond recorded time. Far beyond all our grandfathers furthest memories.

Joel: So recorded time goes back three generations?

Nanami: Oh no, UFOs too. Maybe I have been working myself too hard. I've heard that UFOs usually upduct you. Hey you stupid UFO don't you know the rules? You're suppose to upduct people in remote areas who don't have any witnesses!

Tom: The truth is out there.

Nanami: Hum maybe they don't read the tabloids. Gosh I could have given them a bottle of soy sauce as the first Earth present. Hum why do I have soy sause in the jungle?

Fuji: Whoa, that's better than a commericial.
Londs: Floristica, the Jewel. Roshtariah's capital city.

All: ohhh ahhhh
Joel: Peublo meets the Middle East.

Londs: I beg you good sirs. Please stay here and rest til I return. Fuji: Hmmm Never heard of El Hazard. Hmmm. Or Roshtariah. Hmmm They don't exist.
Makoto: Wha?

Joel: You mean 'Hmmm'

Fuji: We're not on Earth. Where are we?
Makoto: Well another dimention.
Fuji: What's that?
Makoto: It must have been my machine. I was working on a folding space theory I read through conduction means. I suppose we were transported by Junai's sabotage.
Fuji: Huh?

Tom {helpfully}: Macross, SDF-1.

Makoto: Electricity and Dimentional Gateways. That was the title of it. I just remembered right now.
Fuji: You should learn to take more accurate notes. I had time off.

Crow: Oh everything's about you.

Makoto: I build it to work on a much smaller scale. But his rewiring could have...that's it. It wasn't the voltage, but them amps. {flashback} It must have pulled us in also. Living matter transfered through a dimentional gate.
Fuji: Living matter?

Joel: You sure?

Fuji: That could mean us. Better than DTs I guess.

Crow {mutters}: Not much

Makoto: Are you King?

Tom: Where's his mouth?

Fuji: Excuse my student for speaking out of turn.
Dr.Schtal: Uhuh, not king. I am merely Dr.Stanumboum scientific advisor to the royal court. Word tells that you have come from far beyond our royal lands and you hold great powers of strength and have vanquished our worst enemies.

Joel: Talk about run-on sentences...

Fuji: I guess so--
Dr.Schtal: Yet you appear to be a man of ordinary build. It's unusual to think a man like you could accomplish such feats.
Fuji: Well I do some climbing in my time off.
Dr.Schtal: No kidding.
Guard: All now shall kneel. The royal ruler of El Hazard now enters.

Crow {as Venus as she sits}: Wait wait, whoops! That's OK I got it.
Joel: Armored flower pedels?

Venus: I Rune Venus bid you welcome. You are very welcome to our royal court, great warriors.
Makoto: I don't believe it.

Joel: Believe it.

Venus: Speak of any reward and I will bestow it. I shall bestow it gladly.

Tom {greedily}: Any reward? Ohh-h-h-h-h-h

Fuji: We can't accept a reward cause I'm paid by the state and he's a student.
Makoto: Our reward--
Venus: Yes? Ask anything.
Makoto: Please your Highness. please return us to the world we came from.
Venus: The world you came from? What is that?

Joel: Second start to the right, striaght on til morning.

Dr.Schtal: Princess, these people are not from any lands of El Hazard. I request time for further study. But I believe these two people are otherworldly.
Venus: They are people from another world?
Fuji: It's some crazy accident. We really should get back. I got classes to teach!

Crow: Ohh forget about your classes!

Venus: Oh are you a learned professor on your world?

Joel: Or the town drunk?

Fuji: Yes ma'am I'm the history teacher. My name is Masamichi Fujisawa.
Makoto: And student Makoto Mizuhara
Venus: Dr.Stanembough, we must grant their request. Please, return them immediately.
Dr.Schtal: I cannot.
Venus: But council, you are the wisest.

Crow: But not the smartest.

Dr.Schtal: My skills in the royal sciences cannot meet this request.
Makoto: But if you know something about people being from another world, there's still a chance! We'll try anything, help us!
Dr.Schtal: As ever I shall always do my best your Majesty.
Venus: Sir Londs take good care of our guests, until a solution to their predictiment can be found.
Londs: Of course, thy will is my deed.

Joel {as Londs muttering}: Oh yes, I'll take REAL good care of them. Heh heh heh.

Guard: Rune Venus has spoken! Ruler of all El Hazard.
{Venus gives 'the look' to Makoto}

Crow {as embrassed Makoto}: Awww yep yep haw-ha

{commericial sign}

Londs: Be aware.
Different Guard: Of everything you said, Sir.
Fuji: You'd think a place like this would at least have a bottle of wine. Are these the hous di vours or the entrie? Bunch of crazy foreign food. How the heck am I suppose to eat this stuff?

Crow: Oh and octopus is normal?

Makoto: {Slurp} It looks unusual, but it tastes OK. We could have wound up foraging for food all night outside in the jungle.
Fuji: Yeah but it's too dry. Maybe they got a wine steward. Yes, that's it. They just forgot. I'll tell them.
Makoto: But what if it's not polite?
Fuji: Nahh, people drink in every dimention. That's a fact. I'll just order you juice or something.

Tom: Oh and how many dimentions have you been to?

Makoto: But sensei...
Fuji: Hey. {tries to open door} That's weird, the door's jammed. {knocks} Hey, these doors aren't working. We're thirsty in here. {knocks} Maybe your bartender can't get in either. Guess I should knock a little harder.

Crow: Hyiiiii-Ya!

{Fujisawa breaks down barred door.}
Fuji: I...need a drink.
Guard One: It's true, he is a monster.
Fuji: I'm sorry friend. I'm just thirsty that's all.
Guard Two: He said you would escape and kill us!
Fuji: Where the heck is the bar you idiot! {Different Guard faints} Never mind.

Crow: Oops, I broke him.
Joel: Shaken Guard Syndrome.

Tower Guard: Capture them at once. They've escaped. All to arms!
Makoto: Sensei, I don't get it. What the heck are we running away from?
Fuji: From all of them. Maybe they're mad cause I broke their stupid door!

Tom: Are those his feet?
Joel: Yeah, doors are rare in El Hazard.

Staff Guard: You can't escape!

Crow: Watch us!

Guards: Which way did they go? They've disappeared.

All {make monkey noises as Fujisawa climbs up wall}

Fuji: Hey this is pretty good. It reminds me of one of my favorite cliff sides.
Makoto:I don't think this is quite the time for reminnissing.
Flashlight Guard: There they are. There's no escaping. Come down at once.

Crow: We'll just let ourselves in.

Fuji: Hold on tight, Kid.
Flashlight Guard: We ahhh caught them.

Joel: You're not sure?

Makoto: Sensei, we're in a jail.
Fuji: No no, a royal jail.

Crow: Even the rats are clean!

Makoto: Anyway, that was great. First those big bugs, that huge door, and the way you climbed. It's just like some kind of superhero.

Tom {dramatically}: Drunk Man!

Fuji: It is a little surprising isn't it?
Makoto: And I thought you were just a good history teacher

Venus: People...from another world.

{All start humming Another World's theme song.}

Londs: Your Majesty. It is Londs. You summoned me?

Joel {as Londs}: Let me out, it's snowing in here!

Venus: I worry for the strangers. Good Dr.Stambough can return them back to their own world can't he?
Londs: I beg Your Majesty would not worry herself with such matters as these. Besides are we to believe that they are from another world only by their claim to it?
Venus: You mean you don't believe them?
Londs: The land of Roshtariah has many enemies. Trust their fantastical story or believe they may be spies.

Joel: Wait, if Roshtariah is all the known lands, how can it have external enemies?

Messanger: Lord Chamberlin

Joel: Never call me that in public!

Londs: Yes?
Messanger: As you thought the strangers have attempted an escape. Londs: Dear gods! Excuse me Highness. Attempted, you mean that they've been captured?
Messanger: Yes, Dr.Stambough is with them now in the dungeon.

{echoes from the dungeon}
Dr.Schtal: That's very funny.
Fuji: You know, you're not like other principals. You know how to have a good time.
Dr.Schtal: I tell you I am not a principal. I am a doctor and a royal family advisor.
Fuji: I'm sorry doctor. My mind must have been somewhere else. Dr.Schtal: Well you don't really seem like spies to me. If you want a drink next time come to me. Don't destroy the place.
Fuji: Sorry about that
Makoto: That's just great. You're getting drunk and we're in a dungeon.
Fuji: Ah if you were old enough, you'd understand. Hey take it easy!

Tom: I hope I'm NEVER that old.

Makoto: Wow, he's really going off.
Fuji: The old doc's cutting loose!
Dr.Schtal: Right, and no more principals.
Makoto: I wonder if we were the only ones who were pulled through the gateway. {flashback}

Joel: Not again?!
Crow: Yeah yeah, don't look up my dress.

Makoto: What if others were brought here and are somewhere else in El Hazard?

{Bugrom carring Jinnai away}

All {sings}: Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to the nest we go...

Jinnai: Let me go! Let me outta here I'm telling you! What do you think you're doing? I'll report you scroundles to the police! Help! POLICE! You foul disguesting things how dare you treat a person of my standing like this! Put me down this instant! I'm the president of Shininobi High School you insect freaks. Makoto Mizuhara's behind this isn't he? I hate you, Makoto! I'll get you for this....

Tom {makes munching noises when Jinnai sticks his head out}
Joel: Man, he looks like a piranaha.
Tom {as camera moves away}: Food talk too much.

Fuji: You know what I mean don't you principal? Every student is important to us. They're like a part of our hearts.
Dr.Schtal: You make it sound so wonderful. I wanna go back to school.

Joel {quickly}: Starring Rhodney Dangerfield

Fuji: I'd bet you'd be a good student.
Dr.Schtal: And the school girls too.
Fuji: You're too old for that.
Dr.Schtal: Oh you'd be surprised.
Fuji: Hey principal, you're falling asleep again. Makoto, it's time for us to get back home. Call a taxi won't you?
Makoto: I really doubt we're going to find a taxi--
Fuji: Oh use a phone I got change.
Makoto: But there aren't phones either.
Fuji: Here catch! {Fujisawa hands Makoto a credit card.} Use a card instead.

Tom: Ka-Ching!

Makoto: Sensei, why don't you just lie down

Crow: A bird pooped on his hair!

Fuji: I sez I'm going home I'm Superman now. I leap tall buildings and not fall down. And if giant bugs give me trouble I grab them like this see! {grabs Stambough} Uh-oh {falls over and passes out}

Tom: I think he's got the Superman bit not quite right...

Makoto: Well at least that's over. Wait a second, he lost all his superhuman strength all a sudden. Maybe when he drinks like that he looses all his power.

Crow: Thank goodness. Hate to see him drunk as a skunk and strong as an ox!

{Venus walks down stairs}

Crow: Princes descending a staircase

Guard: Halt! Your Majesty! Hut!
Venus: I demand that the strangers be set free.
Guard: But Your Highness--
Venus: They have saved my life. I will not believe in these false rumors that they are somehow spies.
Makoto: Maybe we have a chance

All sings: How much is that student in the window?

Venus: I'm so sorry they've done this terrible thing. Will you ever be able to forgive me?
Makoto: Of course we do. The whole thing was probably all our fault really.

Joel: What with the door and all.

Londs: Your Majesty. What is this?
Venus: Sir Londs, release these two at once!

Venus: Noble Makoto, please tell me tales concerning your world.

Crow: Watch the anime!

Makoto: You mean Japan?
Venus: Yes! Please tell me of your lands.

Tom {over Makoto's next line}: Well there's monster attacks, alien invasions, this little freak that steals underwear...

Makoto: Well Japan is an island. It's smaller but just as beautiful.
Venus: Must me nice. I've only ventured beyond these gates only a handful of times. As their ruler I'm forbidden never to wander afar.
Makoto: You're a prisoner.
Venus: Perhaps.
Makoto: No wait, lookit. I got a picture that you can have. This is my world. {Makoto gives credit card to Venus}

Crow {as Venus}: Mall of Roshtaria, here I come!

Venus: A mountain?
Makoto: Not just any mountain, Mt.Fuji-san. And that's our fastest train right in front of it.
Venus: It is such a holy gift.

Crow: Credit cards are worth their weight in gold here.

Makoto: I only got to see it once on a grade school field trip. But I'll go back. I made a promice to myself someday I'm going back there. But now I....

Tom: Oh, I just remembered, I can't go back.

Makoto: I'm sorry Princess.
Venus: Don't worry you'll see your mountain again.
Makoto: You're very kind, Princess Rune. {Makoto touches orb and it starts to glow}
Venus: What happenend?

Joel {in deep, 'Wrath of God' voice}: He who maketh the globe glow shall be put to death!

Londs: What is that?
Dr.Schtal: Huh? it is the holy Orb of the Kings! Never has anyone been able to activate it before, although many have tried.

Crow: Ohhhh sparkilies! Hey I got an idea!
Joel: Come on, let's get out of here. {gets up to leave}
Tom: No, I want to see the next episode.
Joel {picking Tom up}: Later, Crow has an idea.

What is Crow's idea?
Episode 3: The Enchanting Princess
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