Tom: I'm going to listen to WAPL in Madison Makoto!
Makoto: I was working on a special science project when something something went horribly wrong. I've suddenly been transported to a mysterious world called El Hazard. What is going to happen to me in such an unpredictable place?
Crow: Arabian bikinis. Rrrrrooowl
Tom {at intermittent flashes of a woman walking}: Oh I saw this in Tenchi Universe. That's Nagi! {to 'Nagi'} Ryoko's not here!
Nanami: This looks like a big enough crowd. {gets everyone's attention}
Crow: So she's a one-person band?
Tom: Not a good one though.
Nanami: Come one come all, but you'd better come a'runnin! {throws fliers}
Joel: Litterbug!
Nanami: Delicious food at a low price! Good, it's real good! By the seaside. A convinient location that's right this way, just follow me. It's guaranteed to be the best food ever tasted.
Tom: Or your bottle of Pepto is free!
Nanami: So come along, come one come all. {crowd gathers} The Sawtooth Cafe's open, aren't ya hungry. {Joel: She's the Pied Piper.} Thank you very much.
{title}
Tom: Put a shirt on!
Joel: Oh man, I should have never put her on commission.
Crow (F): How did you dirty all these dishes while I was gone?
Nanami: Ohhh dirt you're mine. Hey Boss don't be so darn lazy. You can at least take some orders can't ya? Remember how to do that? Are you awake? Ohhh he's so worthless.
Crow: But remember, he can fire you at any time.
{Flashback}
Nanami: Ever since I came to this strange world I've had such an awful, awful time. To survive I hooked up with a nomadic food and beverage service tribe. They were so mean and cruel to me. They pay me next to nothing. I always got the worst chores. It was more like being a slave. So much traveling can wear a girl out. So, I escaped and ran off into the land called freedom to anyplace where I can choose my own career path. Free at last.
Joel: Thank God Almighty!
Nanami: And even if this is just a crummy old restaurant, at least I'm the chef. I'm Super Chef! {Crow does weak fanfare}
Tom: With my Skillet of Power!
Nanami: Just wait until this world gets a taste of my cookin'. They'll love it! From my first lemonade stand to an A+ in every Home Ec class I've honed my skills to a whole new art form. Watch out El Hazard cause this sister's cookin!
Tom: Just what she's cooking is unknown.
{Nanami gets orders}
Nanami: Ooookay. Let's do it!
{cooking scenes where she winds up performing for the crowd}
Nanami: Think that's good? Get a load of this.
Joel: Yeah! She's chopping vegatables!
Crow {F}: Frugal Gourmet, eat my dust!
Nanami: Oh no that wasn't suppose to happen.
{crowd loves it}
Joel: We love it when she screws up!
Nanami: I'll taste it again. It should be better now. {Blah} Bland as cement.
Crow: And twice as nutritious.
Nanami: The food tastes awful here. Umm seasonings. They must have some kind of spices or herbs around here. Let me see now. That's it I brought the soy sauce. Smells so good. Little shot of home will fix it.
Joel: At least cut the heads off!
{Critics loves it}
Critic1: Umm unique, so succulent. She's taken an otherwise bland fish and conjured forth its true subtle flavor superbly without the usual over-abundance of salt.
Tom: Hey, don't talk with your mouth full!
Crow: What do you think soy sauce IS?
Critic2: True the aroma clutches the senses then flavor exhilarates the palate yet does not confuse it. Why that sauce is-
Critic1: It's out of this world!
Tom: How true.
Wanna-be Critic: And it tastes good.
Joel: That's telling them!
Nanami: {Boss tries to take soy sauce.} Ah-ha this special sauce is mine. Not yours it's mine mine mine. Wow, I can't believe how much they like my food. Um I can start my own business.
Crow {F}: At least until I run out of bottle soy sauce.
Tom: MORE exercise? What the heck do you think he's been doing since episode 3?!
Fuji: Use me for an example. I can hold out for days. See.
Makoto: That's really great sensei. I'm sure you can live out on a mountain without food for years.
Alielle: You're so weak cause you don't have the proper diet. You can only build up your strength by eating the proper foods you know.
Makoto: But I don't like El Hazard food. I know people like its light fresh taste, but I just think that there's something really missing in the flavoring. I think the whole cuisine is quite bland.
Joel: Like its people.
Tom: So it's just like cafteria food.
Fuji: I wouldn't go as far as that. The liquor's pretty good.
Makoto: That's OK for you to say. Liquor's your basic food group.
Fuji: {laugh} Pretty smart. They should make liquor a basic food group.
Crow: Followed by peanuts, pretzels, and pickled eggs.
Makoto: I'd give a million rostals right now for a Nanami Super Box Lunch. She had one for me the day we left. I wonder if it was the one with the omelet. I sure miss soy sauce.
Crow: Be careful or she'll demand payment.
Joel: You have OMELETS with lunch?!
Fuji: I miss those little sliced okra and good sake.
Crow: Hey, you think all sake is good.
Makoto: Little tacoyaki, you're calling my name. They're hot. They're ohhh. Darn! Now I'm making myself hungrier. I'm afraid I'm dying now. Go ahead without me.
Fuji: Ah Makoto don't talk like that we'll think of something.
Alielle: Oh? That's it over there look!
Tom: A conviently placed celebration!
Joel: We call it Superbowl Sunday.
Tom: We have No Need for Festivals.
Alielle: We got lucky! this area of the mountain side is usually deserted this time of year. If you're hungry, this is the place to be.
Fuji: Boy do I love a festival. The mood is perfect for drinking.
Makoto: Sensei do you smell that? Something smells really good.
Fuji: I'd say it smells like Japanese cooking.
Joel: Oh my fault, a vegatable garden caught on fire.
Makoto: It's coming from over there.
{they hurry over; big line; Makoto's stomach growls}
Crow: Actually it's a line for concert tickets.
Alielle: Boy Master you really are hungry. It must be pretty good cause there are so many people.
Makoto: But that's a problem. If I have to wait in line with all those people I'm going to die of hunger.
Alielle: Don't you realize that if it's something you really want, it's worth waiting for?
Tom: Whatever happened to instant gratification?
Makoto: Hey sensei!
Nanami: Sorry to keep you waiting. the next batch will be ready in a minute. Thanks for your patience. {thinks} Wow this is really turning out good. I'm making more money than I ever dreamed of. And the best part is, I'm my own boss.
Joel: But who do you blame when something goes wrong?
{Shayla tries to shove sticks in the cash box}
Tom: Well I guess that kind of money DOES grow on trees.
Fuji: Makoto settle down. You're making a spectacle of yourself.
Makoto: I can't help it. I can't control myself I just know that's soy sauce. Gez! The smell of it is just driving me insane.
{line moves}
Fuji: See you just have to have a little patience. The line's moving along all right. {Crow: ONE step!} Huh? Alliele, get back here you have to wait your turn. Good manners are very important if you want to grow up to be a young lady of good breeding.
Joel: You breed horses and pets, but not people.
Shayla: Back off fat boy!
Makoto: Did they run out of food? I hope not.
Tom: Wish I had better hearing so I can notice Shayla's at the front of the line and can order me stuff.
Shayla: Wait for it. I was ahead of you and I paid triple the price to get extra sauce.
Customer: No you weren't you budged right in. Wait in line like everyone else. Don't you know it's rude to behave like that in public?
Shayla: So what? {takes a big bite of food} {Crow {F}: So there!} Hey!
Customer: Listen here girlie.
Shayla: Keep your hands off Tubbo!
Customer: Give me that food. It's mine.
Shayla: Well if it is then...
Nanami: Well it's closing time. thank you so much for your patronage.
Shayla: ...get back! {Throws big fireball}
Fuji: What the heck was that?
Tom: Shayla perhaps?
Nanami: Get out of the way it's closing time! Come back soon.
Joel: Look out!!! {crash}
Makoto: Sensei, they're closed.
Crow: Another 'just missed you', two in fact!
{commercial sign}
Joel {sings}: When you call my name, it's like a little prayer.
Fuji {as ghost memory}: Darling Miz...
Twins: Um Priestess Miz. Miz you're Holiness
Miz: What is it can't you see I'm buzy?
Crow (F) {finishing Miz's sentence}: day dreaming.
Twins: Excuse us but more packages have arrived. Here's the tally.
Miz: Put it aside, I'll look at it later. {Pause} Masamichi, you spoke so eloquently of hearts and dreams being parted. Shall I remain in your mind as the untouchable priestess who kept her heart so chaste for someone to which its pure silence can never be broken?
Tom: Ah the wonders of false memories.
{CRASH!}
Miz: You idiots! Keep it down! I'm trying to do some meditating here. I need to keep my mind free so the lyrical muse flows within me.
Crow (F): Or at least a trashy romance novel.
Twins: But your holiness Priestess Miz, your collection of discarded wedding gifts is getting totally out of control. They're stacked way sky-high in all the prayer rooms, you know.
Miz: Oh will you quit with the nagging? Right, so? I've ignored it. {Crow (F): So it'll go away.} Give me a break, I'm the one stuck being the priestess here.
Nanami: And you'll feel younger!
Miz: What's that?
Nanami: I make them all nutritious and delicious. Nanami guaranteed. {Joel: For what THAT'S worth.} Buy my new Lite Out of this World Lunch a taste that will keep you in shape and reverse the effects on your face from Old Father Time.
Twins: You here that? I sure did. Miz you should stock up on that.
Joel: Great, nagging in stereo.
Miz: {laughs} How dare that child think she can hock her wares on the Holy Shrine of Water's front porch. Well I'll teach her a thing or two. Let's go.
Twins: But Ms.Miz-
Crow (F): I'll just mooch some free samples.
Nanami: All right another success and by using my old stand-by speciality Box Lunches. I seemed to have picked a good place too. Some weird castle where there's lots of tourists. Boy I sure the knack for being in the right place at the right time. And the smarts for making lots of money.
Miz: Oh lunch girl...
Nanami: Huh? Oh yes what will it be today.
Miz: You must be a stranger, there no other excuse. Otherwise you'd know this is the Holy Shrine of Water and common street vendors are not allowed to be here without my permission and the proper papers. {Nanami: huh?} Business license, you do at least have a business license don't you?
Nanami: Bu-bu-business license. {Thinks} What the heck do I need a business license for? They're just sandwiches.
Crow (F): Would my Shininobi School ID do?
Miz: Better show me that license, now.
Twins: Now! Now!
Joel: Great...a couple of yes-twins.
Nanami {thinks}: Oh boy am I in for it.
Miz: I thought so. Without the proper license I'm afraid you placed me in the position of ordering you to forfeit all your monetary gained here as a donation to the shrine.
Crow (F): Tax deductable of course.
Nanami: You can't! What the heck do ya think am I suppose to live on? If I give all the money to you my whole business will be ruined. {pause} Got it. Ahh well I mean you just don't understand. It's my father's business. What will become of our meager little hut and now his poor failing health.
Tom and Crow: Liar! Liar!
Miz: Your...father? He's sick.
Nanami: He is and if I don't have the money to buy the medicine, he'll die. Wahhhh
Miz: What's your father dying from?
Nanami: Chronic senili-itis.
Joel: Lie
Crow {F}: Hope that sounds like a real disease.
Miz: Huh
Nanami: Yes a disease, an incurable disease so horrible that the expensive medicine only serves to lessen the excruciating numbness. Wahhhh. That's why I traveled so very far. I couldn't afford a license. But I heard the people at this shrine are so kind hearted and generous that maybe since I was selling healthy food to help people that they'd...they would...please please have mercy on me!
Joel: Big fat lie.
Miz: I suppose your story does change the way I should approach the situation huh.
Nanami: It does, that's great! Now you're talking some good sense.
Miz: Not without a deal. There's kind-heartedness and then there's rules.
Nanami: Rules?
Miz: How's this? You wanna work part-time?
Nanami: Work part-time?
Crow {F}: Do I get benefits?
Crow {F}: Assuming you work a full 24 hours.
Nanami: Wow that's so cool. You didn't say it was going to be so easy.
Miz: You should keep that frame of mind. {opens door}
Joel: Now let me get out of the way here.
{gifts fall out covering Nanami}
Nanami: You're kidding all of this?! What those too?
Tom {over intercom}: Paging the Flash.
Miz: I can help you.
Tom: How about with that one?
Nanami: Weird, they're all unused wedding gifts. Just trash it. They're just a bunch of useless second-hand gifts.
Miz: It's not a useless collection!
Nanami: Gosh, what a temper.
Crow: Almost as bad as Shayla.
Joel: Why don't they open a third-hand wedding gifts shop and sell all that junk?
Miz: I guess it does seem weird to an outsider. I'm collecting wedding gifts that no one wants. I have it all the returns, the rejections, the unopened, the failed unions, every boxed up misfit I can find.
Tom (F): And I never use any of it.
Nanami: I'm sorry. I didn't understand.
Miz: No, you're right, it is weird. Being a priestess is never like I expected. I worked so hard and then all my friends got married and they're so happy.
Tom (F): With their bratty kids and unemployed husbands, oh how I envy them...
Nanami: Don't talk like that. A woman, throught hard work, can build her spiritual independence.
Miz: That's what I think. But a man's world doesn't.
Nanami: So what?
Miz: So what, but what do you do when your career interferes with the search for a woman's one true ultimate soul mate?
Nanami: You just wait, your strength will draw him. I feel lonely myself. So tell me about him.
Joel: Or put an ad out on the internet.
Miz: There's not much that I can tell you. We were only together for a few hours but my heart knows that it was suppose to be forever.
Nanami: Ummm, you're in love. Is this the first time?
Miz: Only time! I'm not allowed. I took the dumb job being a Water Priestess.
Nanami: Humm you're suffering from irreconsible love and work. I just did what I wanted.
Crow: And look at me now. Trapped on an alien world!
Miz: You're just a child. Nanami, what happened? Have you gone through this all by yourself.
Nanami: Well not exactly, really. {Crow (F): I just read trashy romance novels.} I'm just what you call a good guesser.
Miz: I guess I'm guessing too. Hmmm how can I catch the uncatchable man? Awkward and sincere, such a dreamer but so honest. Yet climbs away from love.
Joel (continuing her sentence): in a panic.
Tom (F): I want to marry an alcholic! Is that too much to ask?
Nanami: He's the outdoorsie kinda type right?
Miz: {giggle} Yes he is.
Nanami: Hmm I know a guy exactly like that. He's not going to hide himself from you cause he's naturally himself.
Joel: Boy, imagine how mentioning just one name would change this whole conversation.
Fuji sneezes: Dang this pollen!
Nanami: Ms.Miz, you should consider yourself lucky to be in love with someone in El Hazard. I wish that I could. Don't play games with true love. You have to catch it now or there's nothing.
Crow: Not even Candy Land?
Miz: But there's my job...
Nanami: Yes I know that and it's very important. Keep that for youself. But don't ignore your heart. Someone is waiting.
{Music}
Twins: Miz, what's wrong? Priestess Miz it's dangerous to journey this late at night. Yeah. Are you going to waste all your dreams on that alien man?
Joel: Hey, beggers can't be choosers.
Miz: I've wasted precious years. The one smile he gave me will never be wasted. I will find him again.
Twins: Huh?
Miz: I'm putting the girl, Nanami, in charge. Obey her as you would me. I bid thy both farewell.
Twins: But Ms.Miz, but Nanami can't stay. How noble of her to stay, letting her own father die of numbness.
Crow: I bet Nanami forgot about that.
Crow: And I thought her brother had big dreams.
Tom: She's like a female Bill Gates.