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Tomb of the Demon God

Makoto {voiceover}: Hello my name is Makoto Mizuhara.

Tom (as Makoto pushes Jinnai aside): Move over I wanna play!

Makoto {voiceover}: A normal high school student from Shiniobi High. I was working on a special science project when something something went horribly wrong. I've suddenly been transported to a mysterious world called El Hazard.

Crow (whines): and I'm missing cram school!

Makoto {voiceover}: What is going to happen to me in such an unpredictable place?
Joe (at ending explosion of light): It looks different this time, I think it was a nuclear explosion.
Tom: Let's hope so, I'm sick of this.

{everyone is baking in the heat}

Joel: Stupid AC guy said he'd be here yesturday.

{Fuji gets up, drenched in sweat}

Tom: Wahh I had such a nightmare, I dreamed I married Miz!

Makoto: If my calculations are correct the air current reaches the 12th tower at which point it increases in speed. Then the courtyard wind blows. Umm right up there. The coolest place in the palace should be right here on this balcony. I sure hope so.
{Makoto sees Rune already there, hides on the stairs}

Crow: Is he hiding or peeping?

Rune: Oh, hello Makoto.

Crow (F): Why are you hiding?

Makoto: {nervous laugh} It's too hot to sleep.
Rune: I couldn't sleep either.
Makoto: Ah I was right. This is the best place.
Rune: You are the second one to find it. Only I come here.

Tom (F): Took some trial and error but...

Makoto: Yeah? Well I wouldn't want to spoil your secret. We'll keep it between us.
Nanami: Whew! I feel like I'm melting.
Makoto: Nanami!
Nanami: Oh Makoto. Princess Rune? {pulls down shirt}

Crow: The Picard Maneuver!

Nanami: Well what are you two doing here?
Makoto: To beat the heat. This will be a secret amongst us three.
{Rune sighs}

Tom (F): But Nanami's is such a gossip.

Nanami: A secret? What secret?

Joel: Where the bodies are buried.

Makoto: This balcony. There's no better location to catch a cool breeze than here.
{Ura comes in}

Crow (F): Pet me!
Tom: OK 4, but that's it!

Nanami: Well you know me. I could always find the most comfortable places. Just like a cat.

Crow: Yeah, she curls up in sunbeams and falls asleep.

Makoto: That's the truth. you've always had good animal instinct. You remember in the 5th grade?

Tom: When you caught that mouse.

Nanami: You mean that time I made you mad and you got all upset over what I did.
Makoto: Yeah!
Nanami: And you kept making that silly face that used to crack me up. You remember?
Makoto: Of course!
Nanami: It was really funny.

Joel: Rune does NOT look happy.

Fuji: rahhh Why is it so stinking hot out? {notices Dr.Schtalubaugh peeping}

Crow: Uhh doctor, the big end is suppose to be pointed at the stars.
Tom: What are you looking at? Oh my god that's disguisting!

{gets passed telescope, sees what he's looking at}
Fuji: Ahhhh!

Tom: Wow, it really was disguisting!

Dr.Schtal: Mr.Fujisawa what are you doing?

Joel: Birdwatching.

Fuji: What am I doing? That's rich. Not quite the same thing you are!
Dr.Schtal: Well it weighs heavy on my mind.
Fuji: I can understand you being intrested, even at your age. But hey, it ain't right!

Joel: Say it don't spray it.
Crow: Jailbait.

Dr.Schtal: If ignored the situation will become serious.

Tom: I've been takin Viagra like peanuts.

Fuji: You'd better learn to deal with these things.
Dr.Schtal: {grumble} The time of prophacy has come! {Fuji falls over} {Joel: Don't shout!} Alliele is from the villiage of Danto which lies in a scorching region of our world. She's accostomed to blistering weather yet suffers in this heat. As fortold by legend the land now burns without fire. It signals the immenent arrival of doom which will appear in the sky as a giant tomb of the demon god.
Fuji: Huh?

Joel: It's just El Nino.
Crow: Is it me, or does this sound like he's making it up?

Dr.Schtal: Ruin is upon us. This I know.

Tom: Don't know, but unless he stops, Rune will be upon him.(laugh)


Joel: Now would this be called an earthquake or a hazardquake or an elquake or...
Tom: Don't think so much Joel.


Tom: It got bright quickly.

Rune: There it is. The tomb of the demon god has come as predicted.
Dr.Schtal: When the land burns the sky parts and the anceint castle appears in the sky. Then no one dare open the door behind which evil is sealed. But if the seal to the portal is broken and the door is opened by a wicked hand the demon god will awaken and rise in this world.

Crow: Hey don't give away the plot!
Tom: 'wicked hand' gee I wonder who that will be.

Londs: It is an anceint warning passed down from generation to generation.
Makoto: Do you know what it means?
Londs: It is obscure at best. However {Makoto: yeah} the demon god, we've astertained that it is a weapon. A devistating tool of destruction that was created by the anceint ones. The tomb of the demon god is the castle you see. It is sealed by an secret art passed down through the ages to the royal family of Roshtaria.
Makoto: Sealed by a secret art.

Joel: Caligraphy.

{lower storage chamber}
Londs: Forged by our ancestors, this sword shall once again seal the tomb before the demon god awakens.

Crow (reading writing on sword): Made in China?

Nanami: What are we suppose to do with an old sword?
Londs: The sword must be placed somewhere on the grounds inside the tomb.
Fuji: Somewhere? can you be alittle more specific?
Rune: Lay the sword of old within the flying keep. All things dwell in the heart of god. Let the sword rest on the airborne earth.
Londs: It is said that the key to the seal is in this legend.

Tom: Maybe you should hurry up and seal the demon then.

All: humm
Nanami: Is that it? Maybe there never was a key at all. Just do as it says and lay the sword on the ground in the castle right? {gets nervous}

Crow (F): I'll just curl up and die now.
Joel: Go stand in the corner for saying something so stupid.

Londs: The meaning of the legend is suppose to be an egmantic. That's the whole point of it being a secret.
Nanami: Uh right.

Crow: Duhhhhhh.

Makoto: I think we should go to the castle so we can check it out first.
Nanami: Yeah, great idea.

Joel: Forget about that stupid remark I made.

Londs: Princess, we will leave at once to seal the demon god and it will be done at any cost. Rest assured I will not fail you.
Rune: You never had.
Nanami: Come one let's go now's our chance.

Tom (F): Let's escape and elope.

Makoto: Woah!
Nanami: Hurry up we got work to do. {Makoto protests} I'm sure everyone's going to get hungry on the trip so we're going to make boxed lunches.
Makoto: What?
Nanami: Boxed lunches. {Crow (F): You know what they are.} I'll cut you in for 20%

Joel: Make it 30 and I won't spit in them this time.

Makoto: I've learned there's no point in resisting.
Nanami: Then don't resist
Alliele: It's pretty obvious Nanami has the hots for him. I wonder if he loves her too.

Joel: I doubt even he knows.

{Jinnai laughs}
Jinnai: There it is, Deva. Fate has sent us a marvelous weapon. Wait until I get my hands on it.
Deva: I'm not so sure. Have you thought about this Jinnai?
Jinnai: Hum? What do you mean?

Crow: You mean you haven't thought before?

Deva: The weapon is fabled to be the ultimate device of destruction. With such terrifing power that no one has ever dared to touch it, let alone use it.
Jinnai: I count on that. It's an excellent advertisment.
Deva: Yes, but what about handling it? Aren't you worried you might loose control over that thing?
Jinnai: That's the beauty of it my dear. It's enough to possess the weapon. I won't have to touch it. It will be all mine!

Joel: It's called a bluff.
Tom: And everyone knows he'll use it.

Deva: Ahhh Mr.Jinnai, it's pure evil genius.
Jinnai: It's a gift I have. So lets go! Makoto Mizhuara your end will come now! I'll have my revenge on you and become god of this world very shortly {laughs}

Tom: Or until someone else finds another demon god.
Crow: If not god of this world, then definately god of maniacal laughter.

{Ura transforms around Makoto}

Tom: Pretty lame power-up sequence.

{preperations are made}
Londs: All preperations are complete. All aboard, we leave now.
Rune: Wait a momenet, please.
Londs: Princess Rune.

Joel: What is this, her battle dress?

Rune: Is there room for one more?
Makoto: Sure Princess
Rune: I-I have to uphold my royal duty. I must go for the sake of the people of Roshtaria.

Crow (F): And my heart.

Londs: Oh Princess Rune.
Rune: What's wrong?
Londs: I'm-I'm so proud of you that's all. You've matured into such a corageous princess who undoubtedly be a great queen. I can die happy knowing everything I taught you wasn't in vain.

Tom: I think this guy had a part on Ramna 1/2.

Rune (thinks): Poor londs, how disappointed he'd be if he knew why I was really going.

Crow: Hey, you're going. That's all that counts.

Makoto: Soon we'll be face to face with this dreaded demon god. I wonder what he's like.
{close up of temple}

Tom: How fast can that darn boat go? It looks like it's about to open!

{commerican sign}
Nanami: Look at your face, come on now hold still.

Crow (F): You smeared your blush.

Rune: It isn't fair, they were childhood friends.
Londs: Did you say something Princess?
Rune: Umm Londs, what if I changed my name to Ranami?

Joel: Southpark does this better.

Londs: What?
Rune: Oh nevermind.

Tom: Already did.

Alliele: We're almost at the accent area.
Fuji: We'll have to go by derigable from there. Hope you're not afraid of heights. It's quite a ways up.

Joel: Now would you get seasick or air sick on one of these?

{Ura points up} {Crow: Ura want birdie!}
Makoto: Bugrom!
Makoto: What are you doing?

Crow: What do you think?!

{Jinnai laughs}
Nanami: Kasuhiko you jerk!
Jinnai: Well if it isn't my stupid Sis. Why don't you just go home?

Tom: They already tried that in previous episodes.

Nanami: I'm not your sister! I'm disowning you! {Joel: Again!}
Makoto: I'm warning you Jinnai, you can't mess with the demon god or we can all be in a lot of danger.
Jinnai: Don't tell me what to do. I'll be the one giving orders when I've got that weapon in hand. {laugh}
Guard: The derigable's been destroyed!

Crow: It burst into flames! Oh the humanity!

All: What?
Londs: I'm afraid we won't be able to reach the tomb.
Rune: Steer not to the cloud mantled castle. The eyes of a wise man cannot be deceived. I remembered there were two more lines to the poem. {Joel: How con-vi-ent.} Even if we understood the hidden meaning, it would be of no help to us now. It's impossible to reach the castle.
Makoto: Nothing's impossible, maybe we can still get there.
Rune: Huh?
Makoto: Steer not to the cloud mantled castle. The eyes of a wise man cannot be deceived. Don't you see it's a riddle. We just need to figure it out.
Rune: Oh Makoto.

Tom: Just go where Jinnai isn't. I wouldn't call him wise.
Crow: What makes him think HE can solve a thousand year-old puzzle in 5 minutes?
Tom: I don't know, but he should hurry so they can seal the tomb.

Deva: We're nearly there. The demon god will soon be in our possession.
Jinnai: Another example of my genius. Huh?

Joel: another? When was the first?
Crow: Well that magnet under the patan table was good, even if cards aren't magnetic.

Deva: What's wrong?
Jinnai: I-I could swear that the's only my imagination. Nothing's going to stand in my way this time.

Makoto: Is this really a place frozen permenently in ice?
Alliele: Yes, that's why no one ever goes into the holy land of cha-choppy without having very good cause.
Makoto: And boy do we have a cause!
Ura: Yep!

Tom: To get some cha-chop-suey

Jinnai: This can't be happening to me! I can't afford mistakes. {Crow: My allowance has been cut!} Why don't things ever go the way I plan them?

Fuji: So tell me, what are we doing in this winter wonderland?

Joel: Waltzing.

Makoto: I think you'll find out in a second
Nanami: Look! What's happening?
Rune: The tomb, it's disappearing!

Crow (F): Oh well, let's go home now.

Londs: But that, can't be.

Tom: My part has to be bigger, it must!

Nanami: Why is it fading?
Fuji: I see, it's a mirage.
Makoto: Right.
Alliele: A mirage?
Makoto: The anceint ones of El Hazard planned it out carefully. They antisipated the future when they sealed their weapon called the demon god. Through the ages people forgot about this ultimate weapon and the fires of war burned the land. Your ancestors knew that the distorting heat would refract the castle's image in the sky. So to protect the seal they hid the demon god in a place where mirages weren't likely to occur. Because of El Hazard high refractive index and the abnormal heat we've had, it appeared.

Crow: I guess they read the Foundation saga. Alliele: I'm so confused!
Makoto: The actual castle should be just byeond this mountain range.

Joel (Brookland accent): That simple enough for ya?
Tom: Who cares, just hurry!

Jinnai: What? This has to be the doing of that rat Mizuhara.
Deva: Mr.Jinnai, I don't understand.

Crow (F): Why is my part so small?

Makoto: There you go, it's the genuine article!
Fuji: What the, it's moving!
Makoto: We had better hurry before it awakes!

Tom: Finally you get the point!

Alliele: We have to put the sword in there. We can't wait any longer.
Nanami: But no one knows where it's suppose to go.

Joel: Inside there's a big sign that says 'put sword here'.

Makoto: Look there!

Crow: There's a bird's next right above that cave!

Alliele: The cave! Because all things dwell in the heart of God. Now let's go for it!
Jinnai: Get out of my way!
{Jinnai forces his way past}

Crow: Road hog!

{Rune jumps overboard to get sword}
Makoto: Princess Rune! {jumps to get her}
Fuji: Makoto
{Makoto catches her}
Rune: Makoto

Crow: Who's got you?

{Ura saves them}

Crow: It's SuperCat!

Makoto: You might have died.
Rune: You jumped over too.
Nanami: Jump shlump, I'd wonder what he'd do if I went over.

Joel: Wave?

{inside, they see a slot below a ticking clock.}

Crow: It's a time bomb!
Tom: Then defuse it! Get a move on!

Makoto: What is this? Look the sword must go in here! Princess.
Rune: But Makoto, are you sure?
Makoto: I'm prety sure. But you have to be brave. You risked your life to come here and carry out your royal duty.
{They start putting the sword in the slot}

Tom: Hurry up! Hurry up!

{Ifurita awakes}
Fuji: That's the wepaon?!
Londs: We're too late.

Tom (jumping up and down): What the heck do you expect?! I mean you were just 2 seconds late. If you even tried to save time instead of hesitating and being intimidated by a floating clock, you would have made it! I don't believe this--
Joel: Now calm down. It was necessary for the plot. Let it go. Let it go.

{Ifurita walks down}
Ifurita: You're the new master who woke me aren't you? I'm so glad, you seem very kind.
Makoto: Huh? Hey wait. {Ifurita collaspes on him} Get up miss please.
Rune: Oh what now? This wasn't in the legend.

Crow: Wonder if no one got that part of the riddle.

Jinnai: You're a pain Makoto. She's the demon god isn't she?
Makoto: Oh great.

Joel: Hey at least he didn't waste time being slow.
Crow: Right, he wasted time by being stupid.

Jinnai: I'm not going to let you win this one. Stand up when I'm talking to you and let go of that weapon!
Makoto: Are you blind. I can't. she weighs as much as a motorhome

Tom (redneck): Help me take the wheels off it.

Jinnai: OK I think I'll help out you this one time.
Makoto: What are you going to do?
{picks up staff}

Joel (unenthuiasticly): No, don't trust him.
Crow: That guy will walk into a dungeon if someone asked him.1

Jinnai: First you need the right tools for the job. Then I'll wind up the demon toy.
Makoto: Huh you mean it's a key?
{Jinnai begins winding}
Alliele: No stop it! You're going to unleash disaster on the entire world!

Tom: That happened when Jinnai came here.

{Jinnai laughs}
Jinnai: Now don't blame me. {laugh} I didn't wake sleeping beauty. One more turn. That's it. Come on demon doll.
{Ifurita wakes up and gets off Makoto}
Ifurita: Good morning Master. Please command me.

Crow: OK, clean my room.

Jinnai: Huh! I'm the one who woke you up, you don't take orders from him.
Ifurita: Oh, you're my master.
Jinnai: IIIIII am {evil laugh} {Ifurita is dozing off} Wake up!

Joel: He has that effect on demons.

Ifurita: I'm sorry. May I serve you master? After all that's what I do.
Jinnai: Oh, that's good.
Nanami: The poster boy for evil is a creep. Don't listen to a word he says.
Jinnai: Shut up Nanami!
Ifurita: Huh? What do 'creep' and 'evil' mean?
Jinnai: It means a guy who's good natured and nice who likes children.

Joel: Boy is she gullible!

Ifurita: Oh marvelous! I'm happy.
Jinnai: Now that we've established that I'm the boss. I command you to take me away from here.
Ifurita: Yes sir.
Makoto: Wait Jinnai, just think about this.
Jinnai: All right. I did. Good-bye.

Crow: Like he was going to change his mind.
Tom: It's--it's El Hazards version of Mihoshi! I think Jinnai bit off more than he can control.

Makoto: Wait Jinnai!
Nanami: Kasuhiko!
Jinnai: Woah, what I need now is a good in flight movie. What else you got in your bag of tricks demon doll?
Ifurita: I can preform any task you wish.
Jinnai: Then destroy that mountain over there.

Joel (little boy): Wow Dad thanks for taking me to the top of this mountain. I can see everything from here. Arrrugh!!

{she does}
Jinnai: {cheer} I am the Man! The day of Lord God Jinnai has finally arrived! {laugh}
Rune: Not only has the demon god arisen, but Jinnai controls her.

Joel: Could be worse.
Tom: How?
Joel: Well they could have made it in time. Then where would the plot be?
Tom: Oh like that ever stopped them.

Londs: Don't give us Princess. If we all pull together we can still win.
Makoto: He's right. We've been in bad situations before and with your brave leadership, we can't loose.

Crow: Refresh my memory. What situations is he talking about?

Rune: Makoto, there's something I wanted to tell you.
Rune (thinks): Shall I pour my heart out to him before another rival does? {All: YES!} No, I'm the princess of Roshtaria. I have more urgent matters to deal with now. Rune: It's not important, never mind.
Rune (thinks): Everything will turn out for the best, I hope.

Joel: Well wouldn't telling him how you feel make one less thing to worry about and let you concentrate on Ifurita more effectively?
Tom: Well if you told him earlier you wouldn't have THIS 'urgent matter' to deal with now.
Joel: I think someone needs a time out. {picks him up and leaves the theater}
Tom: But Joel, you understand. Being so tight-lipped about how people feel only causes trouble, right?

1Actually he did in the first episode of the El Hazard 2 OVAs

Episode 13: Pure Evil Genius

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