Return to my Home Page
Return to Deep 13

Operation: Abduction!

{flashbacks of previous episodes}

Crow: Last times on El Hazard the...oh forget it.

Jinnai: My fiendishly superior tactics holds all of El Hazard in a constant state of terror and victory is just within my grasp. {Joel: Riiiiiight} But I am to stand off against the Alliance my acquisition of the demon god weapon has had certain drawbacks. OK, I admit it, she's worthless. {Tom: But sincere.} So I have concocted a plan of genius that no one will ever expect. Yes the ultimate plan! A plan so despicably evil that everyone in El Hazard will give into my every demand.
Deva: Please tell me.
Jinnai: An operation of cunning brilliance, stealth, disguise, abduction, and royal pandemonium.

Crow: Coming to a theatere near you.

Deva: What operation could ever be so perfect?
Jinnai: It has a prefect name. Princess Rune's Abduction Operation: Permanent Vacation.
Deva: Ahhh it's so excitingly bold.

Joel: And long.

Jinnai: Permanent Vacation, it does have a ring to it. {laughs}
Ifurita: (thinks) He's going to give the Princess a vacation? That's so nice. Boy I'm going to help Master real good this time.

Tom: Look out Jinnai, she's getting ideas....

{title}
Jinnai: My reconosince (Joel: recognicence?) tells me the Princess Rune shall come for a ceremony at the kingdom of Baron. Here is where we begin. My operation for the Princess's Permanent vacation is now finally underway.
Ifurita: Right!
Jinnai: Now, how to get in? I must have total silence while I contemplate stage two.
Ifurita: That means shut up right?

Joel: No, it means keep talking.


Extra 1: Your Attention, all applicants for the temporary staff for the Kingdom of Baron ceremony. there are two lines. Please make sure you are in the correct line. Please be patient. All applicants will be interviewed.

Tom: So which line is the correct line?

Jinnai: Now don't be nervous. Those clothes are just perfect for an interview.

Crow: Speaking of which, where did he get them?

Ifurita: Do you think they'll hire me.
Jinnai: If I know anything about business fashion. Downtown Toyko OA.
Ifurita: Thanks.
Jinnai: Once we pass the examination, we'll be able to move around the whole place quite freely. Begin stage three, operation Permanent vacation.
Ifurita: Master, you've made this operation so fun even I understand it.
Jinnai: Something about that statement has me deeply worried.

Tom: Well it should.

Extra 2: Next applicant, proceed.
Jinnai: Greetings Management. My name is Kasho--Fred Jinnai. Well known high school president. It will be an honor to work for you.

Tom: I'm moving in also.
Joel: Does he really think that's going to work?
Crow: Jinnai must be a common name in Baron.

Extra 3: Well friend, any special skills?
Jinnai: Oh yes.
Extra 4: Do have any specific task you can provide while working part time during the ceremonies?
Ifurita: You can bet on it, I've got an operation.
Extra 4: Operational skills are a very good qualification. Please go on.
Ifurita: To help the princess go on vacation.
Extra 4: Are you some kind of jester? {Tom: Yep.}
Ifurita: Nope, I'm just a demon god.
Extra 4: A demon god? Those are hard to come by. I suppose you've come prepared to show us your talent.
Ifurita: Yep, watch out!
{zaps interviewers}
Ifurita: Is that OK? Do I get the job?
Extra 4: Hired.

Joel: I'm going to try that for my next job.

Jinnai: Please accept this as my resume. {shows them suitcase full of money} A little gift, to help you decide.

Crow: Ah, bribery is an important skill.

Extra 2: I guess so.
Extra 3: It's a bit odd.
Jinnai: I understand, you need maybe two to help even things out for you a little more. {second suitcase} And that's not all there's more as long as I get the position I truly deserve.

Tom: I bet that's more than what the job will make.

Extra 3: You're hired.

Joel: And the master villian and the demon god are given unlimited access to the grounds without arousing any suspision from the highly trained personel department.
Tom: See people, background checks are necessary.


Combre: Welcome to all of you in the new staff. My name is Combre, you'll all report to me. Baron is proud to host this alliance meeting of the many kingdoms. Above all I expect upmost courticy to all of the dignitaries and attendees of the ceremonies. Especially to Princess Rune of Roshtaria. The majority of you have already been assigned to posts. Those of you who haven't yet meet me in these gardens.
Jinnai: Stage four, we split up and search every single inch of the surroundings
Ifurita: Inside and out.
Combre: Remove every weed as you turn the recently fertilized soil. You'll get used to the smell in couple of hours. Be careful, the dung beetles bite.
Jinnai: Are you insane? I'll never do a task as menial as that!

Crow: Well it is the position he deserves. {laugh}

Combre: If you can't do this job, then I suggest you leave my staff!
Jinnai: I'm on paid contract, I can never be fired.
Makoto: Mr.Crombe are you there? Is there something wrong?
Jinnai: No, it just can't be. It is.
{goes right to work}
Combre: There, you see. It's easy. As a matter of fact this is where I started. Good hard work shall always be rewarded.
Makoto: That's right, anyone can work their way up from the bottom.
Jinnai: Curse you Makoto, you're here to ruin everything aren't you?
Makoto: The garden looks great!
Jinnai: Die!

All: Do it!

Makoto: Huh?
Jinnai: I mean all the weeds will die as soon as I'm through with them.

Tom: Nice accent, very convincing...not!

Makoto: That's great, keep up the good work.
Combre: I hope the Princess's quarters are satisfactory.
Makoto: Perfect.
Combre: And I trust the journey was not to long and tiresome for Princess Rune. Hum?
Makoto: Not at all. Actually the princess has been taking many trip throughout the land.
Combre: Ah that's good to hear. She'll be perfectly safe here. Now Makoto, you enjoy yourself in Baron.

Joel: Brown-noser.
Crow: (Combre) Am I done yet?
Tom: (sings as Jinnai climbs away) Spider-man, spider-man...

Makoto: I will.
Fuji: Hey Makoto, we're going into town. Come with us.
Alliele: Yeah, they're going to have an ariel fireworks display. The best in El Hazard.
Fuji: And if they've got a parade, I'm going to join in and carry their biggest float!

Joel: They won't mind, they're good that way.

Makoto: But sensei, our job is to watch over and guard Princess Rune. We can't go off sightseeing.
Fuji: You've got to learn to lighten up, have fun for a change. {laugh} Makoto, all work and no play make you a dull boy.
Jinnai: (thinks) That's right Makoto go off and leave her unguarded. Have fun for a change.

Tom: Foiling your plans IS fun.

Makoto: Hello there, gardening boy.
Jinnai: Yeah what?
Makoto: We're going into town to see the fireworks. You want to go? When do you get off of work.
Jinnai: Never! Oh look another weed.
Fuji: Dedicated. Who is that?
Makoto: He's a temporary worker. I don't know. I just feel sorry for him.

Crow: He seems so much like Jinnai, it's pathetic.

Alliele: Master Makoto, does that mean you're going with us?
Fuji: Yeah, of course he is. Lets go.
Jinnai: Makoto I'll teach you what sorry can really mean.


Extra 5: Princess I'd never thought I'd get the honor of serving you. You must be so tired.
{Rune stretches out.}
Ifurita: Princess, do you want me to give you a massage?
Rune: No thank I feel just fine.
Ifurita: But I'm good at it.

Tom: Don't get any ideas, Joel.

Rune: I assume that the people I came here with are now still in their own rooms.
Extra 5: Oh well actually they went into town.
Rune: I'll retire now.
{knock knock}

All: Who's there?

Rune: Yes?
Makoto: Princess, it's me.
Rune: Yes Makoto.
Makoto: Sensei and Alliele say we should go into town. You can see the fireworks better when you're close. You wanna go?
Rune: I've only ever seen them from the terrace. Of course I'll go!
Makoto: That's great. We'll be waiting at the gate.
Rune: I'll be there it will just take a second. Quick I have to find something nice. What do you think of this?
Ifurita: (thinks) The princess wants to see the fireworks up close. I'll help her.

Joel: I shudder to think about what she has in mind.


Jinnai: Stage five, how I found a way to escape from the palace.
{fireworks}

All ohhh and ahhhh along with everyone else.

Makoto: Just like home.
Rune: Is it really?
Makoto: Back in Japan we always have a lot of fireworks. {pause} The most beautiful thing I've seen.
Rune: But they, sometimes they hurt your ears.

Crow: Look out Tinkerbelle! Oh no!
Tom: Hey keep it down! You think decent people don't sleep?

{flashback of the eye}

Joel: I know, the Eye is a Battletech dropship.

Makoto: I think the Eye of God is the key to getting us back. Timeless worlds, dimentions. I read the Sign of the King again.
Rune: That's good. We will help you as you wish.

Joel: {stands up and whispers to Makoto} Hey, she wants you to stay you lunkhead!

Nanami: Delicious snacks {unintelligible} and snacks.
Makoto: Nanami?
Nanami: Hi, what are you doing?
Makoto: I was going to ask you the same thing.
Nanami: Don't be silly. What else would I be doing? I'm making extra banks. My wrap-ups are selling like hot cakes. {Tom: Because the are hot cakes.} And I'll let you in for 20%.
Makoto: But I'm watching the--
Nanami: Oh 40-60, my best offer. Come on.

Crow: (F) Just get away from her. {Rune is about to protest}


{tech music}

Joel: El Hazard got funky!

Ifurita: Wow, these are the biggest ones I've found yet. I'm sure Princess Rune will want to see these fireworks up close. {goes off singing}

Tom: Ifurita, the arms dealer.
Joel: Bet she worked for Reagan.

{commercial sign}

Tom: I got it, Dr.Schtal drilled a hole into the girl's locker room.

Jinnai: (thinks) Stage five, escape part B. {Joel: Find an elevator} What's that? {sees glider} I can just float, right over the stupid moat. And they will never be able to follow because there's a surprise for stage six.

Crow: (Monty Python) There is no stage six.


Jinnai: Sir Combre sent me to bring you refreshments.
Guard: I told you he wouldn't forget us. Thank you.
{guards pass out}
Jinnai: Good, relieved from duty. {whistles. Bugrom break in.} You shall invade under the cloak of darkness. Do you all understand what that means.
{Bugrom noises}

Joel: We get to wear cloaks.

Jinnai: Excellent, you're placing the armaments.
Ifurita: Oh yeah, a lot. Action celebration rhymes with Permanent vacation.
Jinnai: That's good you're speaking in code. {Crow: (F) Oh yeah, I am!} Be ready to fire them of tomorrow night.


Ifurita: Yes sir.
Jinnai: Just one hour until stage seven.
Combre: Fred, stop your lounging around. Get back to work and take this crate up to the grand ballroom.
Jinnai: How dare you! {drops crate}
Fuji: Hey there boy. Are you all right?
Jinnai: Not them again. There's no where to hide. I'm trapped.
Fuji: Hey what's this? Hey The vintage stuff?
Jinnai: Yes attendee.
Fuji: Can I have one?
Makoto: What Mr.FUjisawa, if you drink that you'll loose your superpowers. Here, Can we help?
Jinnai: You help enough.

Crow: But not the way they think.
Tom: (in same accent) Now I must being my shift driving taxi.

Makoto: Well, if you say so.
Jinnai: Stage seven B now includes a hosted bar Sensei.


MC: Welcome to the Baron's ceremonies for the Foundation of the Alliance. People of El Hazard,please give your attention now to the King of Baron!

Joel: Baron doesn't seem like the best name for a kingdom.

King: Allied countries, I bid you welcome to the kingdom of Baron.
Makoto: I can relax, nothing can happen to her now. Huh? Sensei. Do I have to watch you every second?
Fuji: It's watered down.

Crow: With wine.

Makoto: Yeah and what if we needed your help?
Fuji: Like several thousand guards couldn't help? I hear they have a great fruit punch. {grumble} Can I get one fruit punch please?
Jinnai: Oh yes sir, coming right up. Please hold out a glass. {fills it}

Crow: (pirate) Arrrrrr
Joel: They must have real lax security here.

Fuji: Ahh now that's what I call punch. Can I get one more?

Tom: (Hawaiian Punch) Sore!
Crow: (pirate) Arrrrrr

Jinnai: My pleasure sir.
Fuji: Hey, remind me when it's last call.
Jinnai: Uh-uh
MC: It is our pleasure to present to you the extreme ruler over all of El Hazard. From the holy Kingdom of Rostaria. Princess Rune Venus.
Rune: Dear ladies and gentlemen, proud people of our true alliance. How can I thank you all for coming? {Joel: Real good read, Rune.} But I must try. Your alliegence is more powerful than words.
Jinnai: Your alliegence doesn't have any power at all?
Makoto: What?
Alliele: Again?
Nanami: Yeah as usual.
{Jinnai takes off mask}

Tom: It's Jinnai, I never would have guessed.

Makoto: You dare.
Jinnai: I don't dare I win.

Joel: Ob, by the way Sensei, it's last call.

{Bugrom break in}
Londs: Princess Rune!
Makoto: Come on get up, it's a Bugrom attack.
Fuji: Huh? What? Biology class? That substitute must have overslept again.

Tom: (drunk) Today we'll study fermentation. I've brought this 6-pack to demonstrate.

Makoto: I should have known. Please get out of the way.
{fight}
Jinnai: Say bon voyage to your princess alliance.
Makoto: Don't you touch her!

Joel: A bit late for that.

{runs up the stairs}
Ifurita: This is special just for you Princess.
Jinnai: Wait Ifurita, you idiot I haven't even gotten the princess outta here yet.
{fireworks go off}
Jinnai: Hey get back here! You stupid girl, I can't see anything. Where did she go? {Nanami gets caught} Thought you'd get away huh?
{heads towards tower}

Tom: (as Jinnai tries to climb on board) If he would have done those pull-ups in gym, he wouldn't be having this problem now.

Makoto: Princess! Jinnai, let her go.
Jinnai: Never, get lost. Can you see I'm in the middle of an ultimate operation?
Makoto: Let her go!
Jinnai: Back off!
{fight}

Crow: Battle of the 98lb weaklings!

Jinnai: Mizhuara {Gives makoto a noogie}
Makoto: You know I hate that.

Tom: That's why he's doing it.
Joel: I don't believe the fight between the hero and villain has been reduced to this.

Nanami: You idiot, do I look like the Princess?
Jinnai: Wait a second, it's Nanami
Makoto: He screwed up again.

Joel: And it's his own fault for once.
Crow: Whew, and here I thought it was someone important.

Jinnai: If you're here, where is the Princess?
Ifurita: I've got her Master. She's asleep. She must have gotten tired out from all the over-excitement.

Crow: (F) Or when I slammed her against the wall.

Jinnai: Ifurita, you got stage eight. Give her to me now, quick
Makoto: No, Ifurita, don't listen!
Ifurita: Listen. To who?
Jinnai: To your master you demon imbecile. {Tom: Don't listen to your master?} Do as I say, I command you to put her in the ship!
Ifurita: OK.
Londs: Villain let her go or we'll break the door down.
Jinnai: Ifurita, seal the front door.
Ifurita: Yes sir!
Jinnai: No don't!
Ifurita: What? {blasts tower} Uh-oh.
Jinnai: Idiot, she did it again!
{tower starts falling over.}

Joel: Well at least the door is sealed.
Tom does the the first few bars of Old time Rock and Role as Makoto and Jinnai slide along the floor.

Fuji: Makoto!
Londs: No Princess Rune!
Jinnai: I've got the princess, let me go. Try to loose for a change will ya?

Crow: But it's more fun to win.

Nanami: Makoto help, save us!
{glider takes off. Tower crashes into moat}
Makoto: Nanami, I can't! Princess Rune {goes under}

Tom: Oh how sweet, he and Rune even drown the same way.
Crow: Next time, Baron should go with an established temp service.


Episode 19: Hive of Darkness

Return to Deep 13

Send me e-mail: Jason Youngberg
Return to my Home Page