Crow: Listen, this is a tape. You don't have to show us this.
{title}
Tom: Inferno's been working out.1
{Red Bugrom knocks}
Nanami: Who's there? {Red Bugrom talks}
Tom: The Royalty wanted you to have this.
Nanami: Oh, come one in. {Red Bugrom talks} Wow, thank you. We're so hungry. I sure hope it's fresh. {takes a bite} They're safe, I used to have them in my restaurant.
Rune: Well as soon as our guest leaves.
Nanami: So, may I ask you your name?
Gummo: Gummo.
Nanami: Gummo? That's not right. You're definitely more like Chekko.
Gummo mumbles
Nanami: Oh it's just my stupid brother he got all your names wrong.
Gummo mumbles
Nanami: I'm sorry but I think my brother screwed your names up. Would it be all right if I called you Chekko?
Chekko mumbles
Tom: Yes my Queen.
Nanami: See you later Chekko. Oh wait, don't forget to lock the door.
Rune: That was just amazing how, you understood him. It sounds so awful. No El Hazardian has ever understood a bugrom before. How do you do it?
Nanami: Normal, like I'm talking with you now. Maybe it's telepathic. I guess I can speak two languages.
Crow: 3 including English.
Nanami: Yuck, all that dimensional travel and I still understand my stupid brother.
Tom: (F) But I'm bored!
Joel: Wait, didn't Chekko lock the door?
Nanami: Don't mind me, I'm just having a look around.
Jinnai: You idiot, of course I mind.
Nanami: Just ignore me. So you're sending an ultimatum and...
Jinnai: Hostages are suppose to be in jail not listening to the plans. The lines are clear cut aren't they? I'm the captor and you're the hostage.
Nanami: It's not so clear cut. We don't belong here. Deva's the one in charge. Huh?
Deva: {nods}
Crow: (F) That's right, I am.
Nanami: You see she agrees, I could just as easily be in charge.
Jinnai: You're turning things around. I'm the commander of the entire Bugrom army what about that don't you understand?
All make monkey noises as Jinnai stomps around.
Nanami: I understand that if someone like me came along who spoke Bugrom, you'd be voted out of command, loser.
Jinnai: I'm the commander of the Bugrom army. The job is already taken.
Nanami: I can speak Bugrom, jerk.
Jinnai: I'm the ultimate ruler and my army of slaves adore me.
Joel: Just keep telling yourself that.
Nanami: Then I say it's time have a new opinion poll.
Jinnai: Hostages aren't allowed to talk to soldiers while their hostages!
Nanami: Commander, he probably just weaseled his way to the top just like the student council. Huh?
{Chekko is explaining his new name}
Nanami: Oh hi Chekko! It's me, Nanami remember?
{Chekko blushes}
Crow: Uh-oh, this is not a good sign.
Tom: Praise from my Queen.
Crow: (F) Do you do windows?
Rune: I mean, the hallways look so spotless.
Ifurita: Thanks I'd thought you'd like a clean dungeon during your vacation.
Joel: You eat the straw?
Nanami: Oh, you drink it. Umm hey it's delicious. It's almost as sweet as you are Chekko.
{Chekko blushes}
Tom: Don't encourage him.
Crow: Nanami the complaint department.
Nanami: He's so mean. That's terrible. You really shouldn't let him treat you like that. He's really very petty and cruel and I don't put up with it. Why should you?
{Bugrom mumble}
Joel: I wonder if that thought ever occurred to them.
Nanami: Yeah I know, he makes it sound good at first but then he starts walkin all over you. It's the fate of the kind hearted. Do bugs on Earth have hearts.
{later}
Nanami: Yeah, even as a little kid. He'll use you up again and again and give you nothing in return. You can't let a little sneak like him boss you around. Be assertive.
Crow: (F) Let me boss you around.
Jinnai: Hey Gummo, Chekko, Harpo? You idiots answer me! I wonder where they've gone. I just can't seem to find any of them. Oh Groucho Zeppo I've been looking everywhere.
{Bugrom mumble}
Joel: (low voice) Oh great him again.
Jinnai: I want you to prepare to leave we are departing to Roshtaria at once.
{Groucho mumbles}
Jinnai: That's ridiculous. What do you mean you're busy?
{Zeppo mumbles}
Joel: What do you mean you don't feel like it?
Jinnai: You're talking to fast, slow down. What does he mean by sprucing up?
{Groucho mumbles}
Jinnai: Errr she's doing what?!
Tom: Would you have answered?
Jinnai: What are you doing this is suppose to be a dungeon you goof.
{Bugrom mumble}
Jinnai: You Gummo, (All: Chekko) Harpo, and What's-your-name-o I'll see you all boiled in oil for this you traitors.
Joel: Nice way to rally the troops, forget their names.
Tom: Shall I burn him for you my Queen?
Nanami: Katsuhiko if you're going to be rude to my friends then you're not allowed in my room.
Jinnai: It's not your room its my dungeon. And they're not your friends, they're my army. Fall in you idiots!
Nanami: Hey, that's it! Get out of my room or I'll force you out.
Jinnai: Or you'll do what? You heard what I said, get back to your positions all of you now!
{Bugrom mumble and gather around Nanami}
Nanami: Looks obvious to me I won't have to take that opinion poll.
Jinnai: Retreat.
Crow: I thought that wasn't in your dictionary.
Tom: (nature show narrator) The common bully often flees without the support of his minions.
Joel: Is this one of those commercials for herb shampoo?
Nanami: Come on Deva, we're almost there.
Deva: Oh but it feels so wonderful I can't help myself.
All: (sing) I can't help myself.
Jinnai: Deva we've been invaded! {sees them}
Nanami: Your hair, I can't believe how luxurious it is.
Deva: Do you really think so.
Nanami: Yes, it's so silky. You know with a few curls like this and a little tuck here and there, and wa la, the perfect quaff.
Deva: Oh you're the pure evil genius of hairdressing.
Crow: She's hung up on 'evil genius'.
Jinnai: she's there! The invader I'm talking about.
Deva: Oh Mr.Jinnai. Well what do you think? It is bewitching enough?
All start humming the Bewitched theme.
Jinnai: How can you be thinking about beauty at a time like this? I demand you must arrest the invader.
Deva: What do you mean invader?
Jinnai: My sister the invader in charge of the coup de tate.
Deva: Coup de tate?
Jinnai: A rebellious take over. A devious plot to gain control of your empire from the inside out.
Tom: Isn't that what Jinnai did?
Deva: What is he talking about?
Nanami: I have no idea, maybe he's finally lost his mind.
Deva: Do you think he might be dangerous?
Jinnai: I'm not crazy. Can't you see how she's twisting everything around? She's ruining everything.
{commercial sign}
{Rune and Ifurita on the roof}
Crow: Top of the hive, Ma!
Joel: (Russian) Like a Demon on the Roof
Ifurita: Ah it's so nice out here today isn't it?
Rune: Yes, I guess it is nice. I never...
Ifurita: Never what?
Rune: Expected you to be so nice.
Ifurita: Oh I'm not nice I'm the most evil thing in the world.
Crow: She says it so convincingly.
Tom: Well that straightens a lot of things out.
Rune: well I guess it's the truth. I've very sorry.
Crow: (F) (continuing) that you're so stupid.
Ifurita: That's OK.
Rune: Ifurita? are you able to understand me as well as you do the Bugrom.
Ifurita: Of course I understand because I'm a demon god. {stretches} Nice day for a nice chat.
Tom: Maybe they should have used her instead of the Jinnais.
Crow: That's why he failed speech class.
Jinnai: Unfortunately there are the mentally challenged among you who are being cruelly manipulated by a girl of the feminine persuasion. {Tom: Isn't that redundant?} The stupid ones are traitors. I have called this forum to give you the opportunity to think and make an intelligent choice. It is rare that you will find a ruler who would offer you such options. Even to the most mindless of you I offer this freedom of choice. Choose! Will you follow the benevolent and forgiving Lord God Jinnai, or will you be stupid and hang around his crummy sister, Nanami? You may now approach and stand behind your chosen leader.
Tom: Completely unbiased.
Crow: Yep.
{closes eyes as Bugrom move}
{everyone went to Nanami}
Nanami: Thank you, I promise to be a very good leader.
{Jinnai is stunned. Sees Deva left him too.}
Nanami: Chekko showed me where the flower beds are I thought this one will go well with your new hairdo.
Deva: Hereby named the Nanami Flower.
Nanami: Or really?
{Jinnai screams as he enters a flashback}
Joel: I'm entering a flashback...
Jinnai: Whoever wants to be my pal and play a game of run and tag come join my team today.
Nanami: Whoever wants to be my pal and play a game of run {breaks up}
Children: Me!
{Jinnai screams}
Joel: What did you expect? You cheat!
Crow: Hey Joel, I bet you know exactly how he feels.
{Second flashback}
{Jinnai is reading a Tenchi Muyo comic}
Tom: (sings) Can't... you... see that this is a shameless pl-ug.
Makoto: Jinnai you wanna come out and play?
Jinnai: (thinks) It's that little squirt, Makoto. I'll just tell him I'm busy and see if he'll beg me to play.
Nanami: I gotcha. Hey Makoto-chan I found a neat place to play. Come one I'll show ya.
{drags Makoto off}
Joel: Even then she was dragging him off.
Makoto: Oh, OK.
{Jinnai comes out combing his hair}
Tom: Rather static personality. No changes at all.
Jinnai: Sorry Makoto, today's schedule is very tight. But I may be able to fit you in if you wait on the porch for an hour. But the chances are I won't and you'll have to go home. {opens eyes}
Crow: Who are you talking to?
Nanami: It's neat.
Makoto: So where is it?
Nanami: Not far.
{Jinnai screams}
Joel: Why are you mad? You didn't want to play anyway.
{End flashback}
Nanami: Hey come on guys, stop pushing. You'll all get a chance for me to shake all your hands but you have so many. No no that antenna nuzzling thing tickles. Oh OK go ahead. See Gummo, you can smile when you want to.
Jinnai: Ruined, devastated by the sisterly finger of fate. Suddenly alone in my finest hour, for the all turned against me. Wait, I'm still the master of one. Ifurita's on my side because she has no choice. I shall command my demon god to purge by burning all of the Nanami-loyalists. What else do you do with worthless workers who get out of hand but literally have them fired? {laughs}
Tom: Or give them all warning slips in their paychecks.
Jinnai: Ifurita, your master is calling. your master commands you to come forth. I summon the demon god Ifurita. Where are you? Answer me! Ifurita! I said come out. Olly olly otten free! Ifurita. That's odd, she's usually hanging around underfoot even when I don't want her around. Hey Ifurita!!
Crow: Just like cops.
Joel: Think she quit?
Tom: Will I do?
{Groucho mumbles}
Jinnai: Groucho? {Groucho mumbles} oh friend, will you save me at this final moment and pledge your class support. {Groucho mumbles} Loyalty truely exists like when they say a bug in need is a friend indeed? {Groucho starts crying} Oh Groucho! I knew you'd come through my dear friend. Promise that we'll be the bestest buddies forever and ever. {both break down sobbing}
Joel: Those are it's eyes? I thought they were lower.
Crow: Kodak moment.
Crow: (F) Then he yelled at us.
Nanami: Oh he was like that when he was little too. Yeah what a dummy.
{laugh}
{bugrom mumble}
Nanami: Sorry what? {roach scurries out} Huh? {smashes roach with bathroom slipper} {Tom: Where did she get that?} HA! Dead Bug!. Ew nothing worse than a cockroach. {Everyone pulls back in fear.}
Crow: Shouldn't have done that, Nanami.
Tom: Oh fudgies.
Jinnai: You all were witness. Witness to the brutality of the one called Nanami. Also known as 'Red Head the Bug Slayer'.
Joel: Fridays on the WB.
Deva: Is this true Mr.Jinnai a bug slayer?
Jinnai: Yes it is, an embarrassing blot on a good family name.
Nanami: I am not, you're the one who's the throwback.
Jinnai: I tried my best to warn all of you. You must now live with the choice you made. Oh why are the true of heart always so ignored? Why? Because the choice I gave you was too hard? I just believed that you wanted to prove yourselves and choose your enemies in El Hazard into the dust. A dream I still believe therefore I intend to do it my myself. I go to meet destiny even if it is the slipper of defeat.
Crow: Enough, kill em both and lets go back to ruling ourselves.
Deva: No Mr.Jinnai.
{Bugrom rally around Jinnai}
Nanami: This is bad.
Tom: Maybe you should RUNNNN!
Deva: Behold my children the true savior of the Bugrom Empire. A friend to all Bugrom and still leader of the Bugrom army and now Vice-Chancellor and Pure Grand Marshal.
Joel: Like she just happened to have a medal behind her back.
Jinnai: Oh really?
{Bugrom start cheering}
Jinnai: Shall I believe your shouts of loyalty and alliegence? If you really want me to stay, say it. Say 'Hail to Grand Marshal Chancellor Lord God Jinnai'.
Crow: He's easy to placate.
{Bugrom mumble}
Tom: Bet Jinnai's wearing them. {Crow giggles}
Jinnai: Now say 'Jinnai Hail to Grand Marshal Chancellor God'
{Bugrom mumble}
Joel: He never gets tired of that.
Jinnai: Yes again I accept my minions.
{roach landss up Jinnai's shoulder, says something}
Jinnai: It worked very well indeed. Thanks, Tenchi.
Tom: Tenchi?!
Crow: How ironic. heh heh heh
Tom: Back off man, that was a cheap shot. Both of you!
{Tenchi chirps}
{Jinnai laughs}
Joel: Saaaaaayyyyy.
Crow and Tom make a disapproving noise.
Joel: Sorry.
Episode 21: A Love in Peril