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A Love in Peril

Rapper: Lord God Jinnai, the dope in the house!
Jinnai: I'm Katsuhiko Jinnai and my home is Shininobi. I'm now in El Hazard and the Bugrom are my hommies. {Bugrom grunt} Queen Deva's on my side since I wandered from Japan. I made the prefect plan cause I'm the genius man.
Chorus: Operation Permenent Vacation. {laugh} Operation Permenent Vacation.
Jinnai: I kidnapped Princess Rune and I took her cross the river. Now Makoto can't save her cause he's too chicken livered! {Prach!} Nanami's back in jail. I will never fail. My demon god is gone. Where is she? Something's wrong. She should be now here singing but she isn't in my song! {Makoto screams}
Chorus: Operation Permenent Vacation.
Ifurita: Operation oops it's over now I'm going to get gonged!

Everyone is stunned.
Crow: Well this is...unique.
Joel: I think the whole thing should be gonged.
Tom: Actually I'd like to see more of this, a welcome change from the usual 'last time' bits.
Crow: OK I'll give you that, but Ifurita's got to go.

Londs: We are left without any alternative and I'm afraid there is no more hope. ALl the fleets we've sent to rescue the princess wer destroyed. Their wreakage washed upon our shores.

Tom: Shoulda sent a main character with them. They never die in these types of series.

Makoto: Then we should--
Londs: What? Send more men out to their certain death? {Joel: If you don't have a better idea.} The river is deadly. Swirling currents below. Wind like swords above and fog which suffacates the minds of those who are caught between.
Makoto: But Jinnai Crossed and went back. how is it that the Bugrom can cross the river so easily?

Tom: They fly above the clouds?
Crow: Use radar?
Joel: Natural sonar?

Dr.Schtal: By ways we don't understand. Perhaps it is a kind of migratory instinct. Preceiving air currents and pressure systems which we cannot comprehend.
Makoto: So there is a way to do it and we give up. Princess I promise to save you. But the Holy River of God is too stong.

Crow: So I'll give up.

Dr.Schtal: Strong, yes. And holy, for it is made of basic elements. {Tom: Aren't all rivers like that?} A place where the divine can tread and mortals cannot.
Makoto: The three priestesses can cross.
Miz: Yes we have the power to cross but we dare not for it is forbidden. An anceint god of lore decreed we should never cross. Being priestesses we are bound by this holy contract. I'm sorry but there's nothing we can do. If we did who would know the consequences.

Tom: (F) I might get a pay cut.

Shayla: Consequence, schonsequence. (Joel: As long as I'm rich.) A god from so long ago and you can't remember his name? I crammed those lousy history lessons and I say the whole thing's a bunch of garbage. There's nothing I fear.

Joel: An agnostic member of the clergy. Only in anime.

Makoto: I just knew you'd come through for me!
{Shayla blushes}

Crow: Ding ding ding, we have a fourth or is it a fifth romantic intrest. Anyway, Makoto has bagged another one and hasn't realized it.

Makoto: You'll go won't you?
Shayla: I guess so. You hear I'm going.
Miz: Shayla Shayla hereby decress to break an ancient vow. Rune Venus and I spoke once of other destinies. On my path she wished me luck.
Fuji: If Miz is going, we got it made.
Miz: With you there to help me, it's very easy to break ancient vows. For new ones.

Joe: Run! She's baiting the trap!

Ifurita: Hey you guys, what's this word called 'rival'?
Nanami: It means sort of a competetor. Like someone who's in race or something. Why?
Ifurita: A competetor may burn one or two hearts. I guess that's what it means about Princess Rune's future.
Rune: huh?
Ifurita: Lets see and then her love will--
Nanami: Sounds like an alamanac. Where did you get it?

Joel: They put fortunes in alamanacs? Thought they were for farmers.

Ifurita: Wait listen, your new love will drown in a hissing water. Princess, permission to continue.
Nanami: She gave it go on.
Ifurita: Huummm
Rune: Continue, I've seen those kind of books before.
Ifurita: Yeah, but it's old stuff. It might not be true now if you keep on living in the past.

Tom: Oh you're one to talk.

Rune: I know my own fortune, but I'm curious what it says.
Ifurita: Does that mean, read it?
Rune: Yes, whatever consider it a command.
Ifurita: Your hidden love may die.
Nanami: He'll die?
Rune: Don't be worried. I have no hidden love.

Joel: Right, you're rather obvious about it.

Ifurita: Your rival catches your true love in her arms. His face bending closer to her mouth. See details next page.
Rune: But that's silly. I don't have a rival.

Crow: (F) Well I do, but she's here with me.
Joel and Tom snicker at Rune's naivaty.

Ifurita: It says here that the two of you must get back together no matter what. Otherwise he kisses her on the mouth. And there's more.
Rune: But I don't have anyone like that, that I love.
Ifurita: Well if he doesn't exist, he'll be OK.

Crow: Another profound statement by Ifurita.

Nanami: Wait come on, tell me mine.
Ifurita: Business?
Nanami: That's right. Says I'm successful?
Ifurita: Nope.
Nanami: What?

Tom: (F) The Dept. of Justice will take you apart for mob-like business practices.

Ifurita: Carreer disorganized like love.
Nanami: That's wrong.
Rune: (thinks) Makoto, please be all right.

{flashback as Makoto looks at the drawing he did of Rune}

Tom: Oh not again! How many times will they do this?

Makoto: When two hearts are joined together, the holy contract shall be sealed.
Rune: Thus the stairway to the sky shall be openened.
Makoto: Princess, do you realize what we're standing on? The Eye of God.
{second flashback}
Dr.Schtal: Yes, the text can be read that Rune has a sister or a wandering soul. {Tom: Fatora?} Perhaps you bear the mark of the king. Once the two are bound together they shall spin the timeless worlds.
{air boat set down}
Dr.Schtal: I'm sorry. We found out too late that the Princess and the Eye of God may be the only key to your way back.

Joel: Actually we found out long ago, but Rune said 'no'.

Makoto: Don't appologize, we'll look into it as soon as I bring the Princess back.
Dr.Schtal: You're very brave.

Tom: (as Dr.Schtal) Or foolish, I forget tell which.

Londs: Priestess Miz are you sure you've made the right decision.
Miz: The decision I made may not be the correct one. But I'm now committed to do what I can, Londs.
Ura: Decision good.
Dr.Schtal: That's good Ura, hid under his coat whenhe wasn't looking.

Joel: Makoto must really be blind to the world if he didn't notice that.
Crow: Wonder if we can sneak a rabid wolverine in his underwear.

Shayla: We should all be leaving now.
Alliele: Come on already will you hurry up!
Londs: Alliele?
Alliele: If you guys don't get on board soon I'm going without you.
Londs: Farewell! Please save her and may the gods protect you.

Crow: Hey why isn't Londs going?
Joel: His job doesn't cover travel expences.
Tom: Besides, this is a 'major characters only' trip.

Fuji: Five people and a cat.
Miz: Well Masamichi you can also call it two couples, a pilot, and a cat.
Fuji: I guess so.
Miz: Masamichi you'll protect me won't you? Wanna practice.

Joel: In front of my student?

Fuji: But aren't you...the powerful one?
Miz: The power I have over water is replenished by the fountain of love that comes from your heart.

Tom: They're in trouble.

Fuji: We might make a better couple if you were a couple of feet away.
Miz: Oh silly.
Shayla: I can't believe that creep, Afura, refused to come along.
Shayla: Afura, you have to!
Afura: Have to be a fool?
Shayla: I'm not a fool!
Afura: Then what do I call you? A priestess who disobeys our sacred laws?

Tom: Someone who puts friends above faith?
Crow: Someone who's not stuck up?
Joel: Someone who knows her position is more than old laws and obscure duties?

Shayla: At least I don't abandon my friends in their hour of need.
Alliele: Think as you like, I know my duty.

Crow: (F) I have books to read.

Shayla: Afura!
{end flashback}
Shayla: The creep, calling me a fool just because she's too plain scared to go.

Joel: Oh she always calls you a fool. Just ignore her.

{Afura wonders if she made the right decision}
{commericial sign}
{shores of the Holy River of God}
Makoto: (thinks) Princess Rune, Nanami please hold on.

Crow: To what?

Miz: (thinks) Maybe he'll want to kiss me. Just for luck.

Tom: Don't hold your breath.

Shayla: All right let's do it!
All: Right
{head out over river}

Crow: This isn't how I pictured God's river. Doesn't quite fit the name. River of Devil or River of Danger...

Alliele: I can't see at all. Are all you guys still onboard?
Shayla: Yeah of course we are. Don't act like such a coward. Remember, you're the pilot. It's a stupid normal fog. {pause} Hey are you guys still back there?

Joel: Nope, they snuck off while you were talking.

Fuji: Hey are we still on course?
Alliele: Yep
{Makoto holds up hand and sees Shayla's is attached to it.}

Tom: What's this doing here?

Shayla: What the heck are you doing. Let go of my hand.
Makoto: But Shayla you are the one that was holding my hand.
Shayla: A likely story.

Crow: VERY likely.

Miz: The wind's odd.
Fuji: Hey pilot, watch what you're doing. We're drifting off course. We're heading the wrong way. Take control girl.
Alliele: Wah Hey what's that?
Makoto: Giant whrilpools!
Shayla: Great, if we get sucked into them We'll be dead for sure.

Tom: It's a hovership. Can't it just float over?

Miz: Why now?
Fuji: Wait a second, this is dangerous. What are you doing?
Miz: Oh don't be worried. I'm not in danger if you hold onto me real tight.
Fuji: huh?

Joel: I don't see the connection, but OK.

{Miz uses powers to part the waters}
Fuji: Come one Miz, you can do it!
Makoto: Do it Alliele, go full speed ahead.

Tom: I think she can figure that out by herself.

{boat speeds down river bottom}
Fuji: I don't know what the heck you're doing Miz, but if you can give it more power, I can certainly hold onto you tighter.
Miz: That's all I need to hear.

Joel: (chokes) Ack, too tight.
Crow makes bone crunching noises.

{they make it out}
Shayla: (thinks) Why does my heart do that? I thougth seasickness affected your stomach.
Fuji: Miz, are you OK.
Miz: Hold me longer while I recover.

{Bugrom scout flies above}

Tom: See, they fly above the clouds.

Jinnai: really a supicious-looking craft you said. I'll be it's Makoto. Out to rescue dear Princess Rune, the idiot.

Crow: (F) Wouldn't you do that for me?

Deva: He dares cross the river into my kingdom. Frankly I find the effort quite interesting.
Jinnai: Interesting? He'll never make it to the shore alive. I'll send him a new peril Operation Tugboat of Terror. {laughs}

Joel: He should have worked for the Batman TV show.

Alliele: Sister Shayla, keep me warm.
Shayla: You're the pilot. Do I have to lash you to the wheel?

Tom: Only way to be sure.

Alliele: But I'm cold and you're the warmest person on board.
Makoto: I've never felt fog this cold in my whole life before.
Fuji: Something unnatural about this chill factor. It's worse than even high up mountain top cold.
Alliele: Is that fog frozen? {Shayla: Huh?} Look out! We're gonna crash.
{barely make it past.}
Fuji: Hold on! Gotcha. You darn kid. You almost went over the side. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?

Joel: Now go up there and pilot this thing!

Ura: Hard fog.
Makoto: Another iceberg!
Alliele: I can't get to the wheel in time.

Tom: (mutters) Shouldn't have left in the first place.

{Shayla burns a hole through the ice}
Shayla: Whew. I sure hope I don't have to try that again.
Makoto: Another one!
Shayla: Hard left Alliele!
{Shayla hugs Makoto}
Shayla: She made the turn didn't she. There's no reason to get all exicted.
Makoto: My fault again. Sorry.

Joel: (as Makoto imitating Alliele) But you're the warmest person on board.

{Bugrom drop in}

Tom: Can you warm us up too?

Shayla: Just when I was thinking it couldn't get any worse. Time to swab this deck.

Joel does Popeye imitation.

Miz: Never mess with my Lover Man!
{Ura claws Bugrom}
{more fights}
Miz: Shayla, another iceberg!
Shayla: Come on Lamp give me all ya got.
{screen goes white} {interlude}
{Rune breaks fork.}

Crow: (F) Darn plastic silverware.
Joel: She's using a fork with soup?

Rune: Oh my.
Nanami: Oh ho a broken fork. Do you know what that means?
Rune: Huh?

Crow: (F) I'll have to use chopsticks?

Nanami: It means real bad luck.
Ifurita: Like for her true lover.
Nanami: Yeah
Rune: Oh don't be silly. I didn't break it. {fakes it} (thinks) Oh Makoto, I pray that you're protected.

Tom: So how is breaking a fork bad luck?

{end interlude}

Crow: So how did they get past that iceberg?

Ura: Makoto!
{Ura claws up Bugrom}
{Shayla about to get hit}
Makoto: Stay away from her.
{takes the punch, gets knocked over side}

Tom: The ironic part is that was the Bugrom smaller arms.

Shayla: That's it bug, you're fried! Makoto, hold on! {jumps in}
Fuji: Makoto!
Miz: Don't! Shayla'll save him.
Fuji: But he's going to drown.
Alliele: Shayla will save him besides you gotta stay save us from the Bugrom!
Shayla: (thinks) Oh no, he's sinking too fast. Makoto!

Crow: Remove the jacket.

Fuji: That's one of my students!
Miz: That's good Shayla.
Fuji: How's melting an iceberg savin him?

Tom: (F) Not him, us. Alliele's a bad pilot and we don't want to run into one again.

Miz: To keep the water warm. This is the River of God. I have no power over water that cold. Please don't let him die, Shayla.
Alliele: Come on Shayla.
Shayla: (thinks) Almost there. {breaks the surface} (speaks) Makoto! Makoto, we're out come on, breathe. You're safe now.

Crow: (F) You're going to die in your bed surrounded by your family and friends.
More improved Titantic references.1
Makoto: I must save the Princess. Can't cross. Shayla's gotta help me. Hold on grab my hand Princess.
Shayla: She'll be all right.
Makoto: Just reach out.
Shayla: (thinks) I wish I could But I can't. I don't have the strength left.

Crow: I don't know if anyone cares, but my heart will go on.

Shayla: I should have never let go of your hard at all. I'm sorry I blamed it on you. {goes under} I took hold of your hand because, Makoto, I think I love you...

All cheer.
Joel: Finally, someone said it!
Tom: 10 points for Shayla!
Crow: But does it count? She only thought it.
Joel: They're underwater and can't talk. So it counts.

{washed up on shore}
Makoto: Ms.Shayla? Shayla wake up. She's not breathing. {prepared to give mouth-to-mouth}

All improv warnings and comments about the proper way to do it.

{Shayla wakes up at the worst possible moment}
Shayla: Makoto? {slugs him one}
Makoto: What did you hit me for?

Joel: She thinks you tried to kiss her when she was unconcious. Duh!

Shayla: Because, that's what you deserve. Creep.
Makoto: But I was just trying to--
Shayla: Shut up. I know what you were trying to do. You wanted to hold my hand. Well now you gotta permenent souvenier.

Crow: Awkward!

Makoto: I don't get it. What are you talking about?
Shayla: About taking advantage of my darn feelings.
Makoto: It was mouth to mouth resesatation.
Shayla: You think I care what they call it in YOUR dimension? It's called out of your limits when it involves me!

Tom: Try seeing it from her point of view, Makoto.
Joel: Well if you did it right earlier, this wouldn't have happened.
Crow: Well I think they both need to work on their communication skills.

1 Sorry, I've never seen (nor would want to see) Titanic so I can't do anything more than what was shown in the excessive number of clips used for TV, radio, etc.

Episode 22: A Death-Defying Rescue

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